The Transformation Experiment

So tomorrow, actually about 45 minutes from now, will be my 42nd birthday. Like so many people my age, I've been wondering where the time has gone and what happened to all my grandiose dreams of where I would be by now. My life has become about making a living, trying to pay my bills, be a good citizen, shepard my kid into a life of her own that's meaningful, worthwhile and that makes her happy. My marriage, though solid as ever and stronger than most, has become routine for both of us. My job, while an excellent job with one of the world's best companies, is drudgery to me most of the time. It's what I do to make a living and support my family.

The past 15 years have been years of trial, pain, stress, and emotional distress mixed in with the occassional victory, celebration and accomplishment. I keep waiting for life to turn around and somehow get more good than bad, more happy than sad. Yet somehow that still eludes me.

I don't want to be one of those people who just makes their way through life, enduring as best as they can. For as much as my natural optimism has faded, I still believe deep down that life can be joyous and fulfilling if only I could find the key to unlock the door in me that leads me there.

And so came the idea for this blog. I call it the "Transformation Experiment". My theory is this:

Happiness is a self-induced state. I may not have the wherewithal to take on transforming my life by suddenly doing all the things that I love and all the things that I know will bring me good health, less stress and a more manageable life. However, I can challenge myself to do one thing every day that I truely enjoy and one thing every day that I feel is done with excellence. They don't have to be big things, earth shattering accomplishments, or revelations. They simply need to give me some honest enjoyment every day, and some true pride in what I do every day. My hypothesis is that if I do this every day for this entire calendar year, that by December 31, 2010, I will have transformed my life from one of subsisting, surving and coping, to one of joy, pride and health. The expected side effects of this transformation are relationships that feed my soul, eating habits that nourish my body and mind, and physical and mental health that I have not experienced in perhaps 2 decades.

Should anyone else read this and want to somehow support me in this endeavor, or perhaps be supported by this, that would be a true bonus. Wouldn't it be great if somehow, I could not only make a difference for myself, but for someone else as well along the way?

Here's hoping.